Dede, Don’tDon’t
October 22, 2009
Now, admittedly, I don’t know too much about Dede Scozzafava or NY-23 because, of course, I live in Chicago and am generally oblivious unless you’re a guest on The View. What I do know is that the Interwebs kind of hate her, Newt Gingrich appears to have endorsed her, and that she has the true mark of a female politician, a terrible fashion sense.
This is how I know to oppose her. Okay, so beyond that, she’s clearly standing in front of the office of her opponent, Doug Hoffman, which had to be just a terrible idea from the start (what else does a campaign office have than a bunch of underemployed college students hopped up on pizza and diet Coke with a full menu of campaign signs at the ready?) and the fact that she and her staff failed to recognize that speaks volumes. Beyond even that there’s the fact that she’s a totally unknown quantity who appears to lean left on all the wrong issues. Sure, she’s not that into Obamacare, but she seems pretty keen on Card Check and despite signing the AFP pledge not to support a bill that raises taxes, her position on the issue seems a bit more…nuanced (”what kind of taxes?”). As for why Gingrich supports her, it seems to be primarily because he wants a more moderate Republican to win just to prove it can happen, which, coming from a more moderate Republican (I think), makes some sense. But if we’re talking about making the tent bigger, I’d much rather see the party be more inclusive of, say, libertarians. Not, oh, say Democrats.
But I’m guessing Dede doesn’t need me piling on her for her political positions. After all, the conservative media and the voters seem to be doing a perfectly good job of that themselves. Instead, I’ll pile on her by saying, listen Dede: I can tell from a mile away that you’re not a Republican because you appear to have dressed yourself in the dark with mittens on, and even the possibly-crazy-ass Republicans (I’m looking at you, Michele Bachmann) appear to know how to dress. Its hard to forgive your handlers for that little stunt in front of Hoffman’s office, but its almost impossible to forgive them for letting you out in public in a pink jacket with lapels so big I’m surprised they don’t need anchor lines. If you don’t stop raiding Debbie Stabenow’s closet, I’m afraid I’m going to have to truly oppose you politically. Seriously. They should hire Lindsay Lohan to dress you just so you can hit a happy medium.
Also, lets discuss, in a more general fashion, the rule that female politicians should never wear pink jackets. Ever. Because you know what your pink jacket sort of makes your chest look like? Yep. A vajayjay. Please, in the name of all that is holy, don’t ever make me think that again, OK? I already need therapy. I don’t need to continue to pay a mental health professional for the next three decades because I briefly imagined you as a giant prop in an Very Special Valentines Day presentation of an Eve Ensler work.
Now, please, back to our regularly scheduled program.
Posted in Uncategorized
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:25 am
Not only that, but in that clip, she’s giving her opponent a boatload of name recognition. I look at the photo, I see a nice lady stumping for Hoffman.
If she can’t control a little thing like that, how’s she going to deal with Washington?
If this is the best Republicans can do, we’re doomed.