Al Gore Has (For Now) Saved The World
March 20, 2008
He has scared Global Warming away.
Some 3,000 scientific robots that are plying the ocean have sent home a puzzling message. These diving instruments suggest that the oceans have not warmed up at all over the past four or five years. That could mean global warming has taken a breather. Or it could mean scientists aren’t quite understanding what their robots are telling them.
This is puzzling in part because here on the surface of the Earth, the years since 2003 have been some of the hottest on record. But Josh Willis at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory says the oceans are what really matter when it comes to global warming.
Now granted, even though nobody seems to know what the heck happened, we see this as no reason for alarm, or any need to re-evaluate the drive to cripple most modern economies, or to even question the underlying mechanisms, measurements, and analysis of this (obvious) global crisis. Miracles such as this are beyond our means to understand, and nobody said you could stop panicking.
Now, that said, it’s best that we move to put this event behind us. We need to get back to what’s really important, living our lives exactly as Gore has taught. So everyone get some candles or a fire pit ready and start preparing for Earth Hour.
It’s belief that needs strengthening, people, not looking at all this science and raising doubts. Otherwise, honestly, how will we ever have the courage to take civilization back to the dark ages?
Posted in Uncategorized
March 20th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Don’t candles and fire pits contribute to global warming?
Or does Gaia not mind when it’s all about her?
March 20th, 2008 at 8:10 am
You’re absolutely right. What really matters is that we’re raping the planet and sending the temperature through the roof, even though the actual data suggest that it’s staying the same or getting cooler. I think we can all agree that if we don’t all act right now, we’ll all be dead. Soon.
March 20th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I’m so confused as to what to do next! Does this mean my carbon credits are finally paying off?
Forget Obama as the false prophet, Gore is clearly the man who will deliver us from our own evilz!
March 20th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
In the grand scheme of things, does any of it really matter. According to Al Gore, the planet and us will be dead soon. So, let’s just live it up. We can’t postpone the inevitable.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
We’re going to one day crash headlong into an expanding sun (at least I think thats what it is?), and we’re all going to die, or whatever. No need to panic.
Also, isn’t there some report out that says we’re nearing a mini ice-age?
March 20th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Actually, the earth is going to stay where it is, and will be consumed by an expanding Sun. And yes, we’re overdue for a little ice age, like the one that occurred in the middle ages:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Ice_Age
I think Saint Al is working on a plan to contain solar warming. And global cooling.
regards,
March 20th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Candles or fire pits? The cause is cow farts! Cow farts!!!
March 20th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
I think Al suffered from heat stroke once which caused permanent disorientation–ever since then, he’s had delusions of grandeur, believing that he won an election, or that he can save the world. All caused by an overheated anterior hypothalamus.
Or, to put it another way–”Lobal Warming.”
March 20th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Doesn’t it bother anyone else that there are three thousand robots roaming the world’s oceans? Who’s in charge of these robots? Are they friendly? Hey, this is important!
March 21st, 2008 at 1:10 am
Make fun of Al Gore all you want, but he’s laughing alll the way to the bank, where he’s stacking up all that money he making from selling carbon credits, which he can now use to buy fuel for his jet which warms the planet and proves his point whereby more people have to buy his eco credits which he takes to the bank and………etc.
It’s what those on the left call Eco-nomics the greening of the world.
March 21st, 2008 at 1:35 am
Someone needs to make a master list of everyone who is whining about the impending doom we face from Global Warming. That way in 10 years, when the Global Warming is laughable, we will know who to ostracize.
March 21st, 2008 at 5:11 am
“Someone needs to make a master list of everyone who is whining about the impending doom we face from Global Warming.”
According to most of the whiners I hear from, someone already is…
March 21st, 2008 at 5:54 am
Well said. The eco-terrorists want to destroy us. Living in a tee pee with a dirt floor is their solution. Oh…also 90 % of the rest of you must be killed off somehow.
March 21st, 2008 at 6:02 am
I’ve heard killed off and I’ve heard “voluntary extinction,” which apparently involves eco-nuts not having children, which of course, would eventually end the eco-nut phase. Darwinism is a wonderful thing sometimes…
March 21st, 2008 at 6:22 am
If you go to a place like San Francisco, having children is considered the social equivalent of operating a coal fired power plant in your back yard. Abortion “rights” proponents tend to have fewer children too.
Hatred of your own species is a very odd phenomenon, but as Em noted, self correcting over time.
regards,
March 21st, 2008 at 9:29 am
Why dont this swaggering swell keep his big fat mouth closed and quit producing all that HOT AIR everytime his big fat lying piehole is open
March 21st, 2008 at 1:03 pm
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March 21st, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Lobal Warming……hahahah. I love that!
March 21st, 2008 at 6:01 pm
>>Also, isn’t there some report out that says we’re nearing a mini ice-age?<<<
Actually, I read somewhere that we are a little overdue for a real ice age. I probably won’t live long enough to see it but I would love to watch the glacier push Al Gore’s mansion into the Gulf of Mexico.
March 21st, 2008 at 7:44 pm
It has been snowing since seven am here. Global warming my…
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:19 am
Actually, the sun will expand, decreasing it’s gravitational pull on the Earth. The Earth will move into a more elliptical orbit which will cause catastrophic and unsurvivable weather changes.
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:17 am
http://space.newscientist.com/article/dn13369-hope-dims-that-earth-will-survive-suns-death.html
They created the most detailed model to date of the Sun’s transition to a red giant, based on observations of six nearby red giant stars. Sure enough, they found that Earth’s orbit will widen at first. But Earth will also induce a “tidal bulge†on the Sun’s surface, with its own gravitational pull. The bulge will lag just behind the Earth in its orbit, slowing it down enough to drag it to a fiery demise.
It looks like we’re all right. The Sun is going to expand, our orbit will widen, then the tidal bulge will drag Earth into the Sun.
I can’t wait to see what Al is going to do to get us out of this one.
regards,
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:55 am
Don L. You’re exactly right! Global whining is BIG business!!!
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:05 am
Might be kind of cool to be ringside for that, maybe on one of Jupiter’s moons or Mars. If the Sun shedding it’s outer layers doesn’t do the rest of the planets in, that is.
eh…won’t matter anyways. An asteroid or comet will get us first, and that’s if we get lucky enough to avoid a major earthquake and tidal wave event, or a caldera like Yellowstone blowing (which it will) again. Or if Democrats enact universal health care. That one scares me the most actually.
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Look, carbon is one of the building blocks of life. All living things expel or excrete carbon dioxide. When ever one of the deranged global warming alcolytes starts running off at the mouth about reducing “our” carbon foot print, I remnid them of that. Then I tell them that if they want to reduce “their” carbon foot print for the good of humanity, they can do so. All they have to do is kill themselves. They no longer leave a carbon foot or mouth print. Less pollution all the way around.
March 25th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Everytime those GREENPEACE opens their mouths their producing HOT AIR
March 25th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
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March 29th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
All those green nuts who yammer about global warming should have duct tape placed over their mouths to decrese all that HOT AIR their producing with their flapping pieholes