July 2, 2009
Listen, I didn’t blame you for almost breaking up Coldplay. Hell, I don’t even like Coldplay. I’ve seen them in concert and personally, I could have had the same experience if I turned off all the lights, doused my couch in beer and listened to their anthology on shuffle. I didn’t even care when you bashed America last time you had the chance, but Gwyneth, this time its just damned uncreative.
Gwyneth Paltrow says Spain has “became a second home.”
“It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it’s from 500 B.C., it’s incredible,” she tells the Associated Press.
“Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more,” she continued. “They aren’t running around as much as in New York. They enjoy time with the family. They don’t always have their BlackBerry on.”
I like Spain, too. In fact, I like a lot of the things you like. I even “nourish my inner aspect” (WTF?) when I get your stupid newsletter where you tell me to buy things that I can’t afford (but can usually get on Overstock for under $25), and talk about making sandwiches with Mario Batali, and visiting a “healing modality” where they make you lie on a table naked while they stick you with pins. I love how the newsletter’s question-and-answer portion has a horribly banal and simplistic question that could be answered by Websters like “what is addiction?” and “do you like frenemies?” asked to totally random, utterly pretentious people like a Zen master who tell you to sit in particular yoga poses to minimize your reality or whatnot. The whole, entire thing is so utterly incomprehensible it makes me think I might actually have picked up a second language without ever having to dish out $200 on Rosetta Stone.
But see, Gwyneth, I love you because you’re ridiculous. My hair? Also stick straight, but would I walk around looking like a blonde zombie? Would I go to a red carpet event where I deliberately didn’t wear a bra so my boobs look like chicken cutlets inexplicably frozen in silk georgette? No. I wouldn’t. But I’m okay with you doing it, because you run the line between unintentionally hilarious and sort of pitiable. You once wore leather shorts, Gwyneth.
So needless to say, I’m unconvinced of your assessment of American life. Partly because I’m not entirely sure, from your description, that you are actually in Spain.
UPDATE: Also, she lived with a Spanish family? Doesn’t she have enough money to rent something?
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June 30, 2009
Today, the Minnesota Supreme Court sent Stuart Smalley to Washington, which while an absolute, unmitigated disaster in and of itself, is of lesser concern than, say, if other SNL alumni were in the same position. Although one can perhaps argue that Americans have lost all sense of reality, voting to make a television star and half-assed political commentator a Senator (if only Bill O’Reilly would deign to challenge his reigning New York bureaucrat, CSPAN would be top-notch viewing), thus ensuring that dignity and class will be forever absent from the hallowed halls of our Congress, at least it wasn’t Janeane Garofolo.
It would only be more tragic if Franken made a video where he was failing to apologize for his wrongdoings, while, at the same time, going into great detail about his repeated transgressions, but thankfully, we have Mark Sanford to fill that void.
So its time for a happy distraction. The Obamas are about to head off on vacation, and they’re going to Cape Cod. Martha’s Vineyard, specifically.
President Barack Obama and his family plan to vacation next month on Martha’s Vineyard, Democratic sources said.
The trip has long been rumored on the island, where federal agents were reported to be checking out property last spring.
The plan puts the Obamas in one of America’s most diverse resort areas. The enclave of Oaks Bluff has long been a favorite vacation spot for the nation’s African-American elite.
That’s really sweet, but I do believe John F. Kennedy would enjoy having his entire persona left alone. Sure, the J.Crew couture was a relatively new establishment, and hell if Barack Obama would be caught playing a game of pick-up football, but at some earlier time we discussed how portraying the Obama’s as Camelot II needlessly and pre-emptively pigeonholed them into a downward spiral of failure. After all, the Kennedy’s are, alternately, terribly shady and awfully tragic, with their short, indiscretion-filled lives, subsequent financial losses, Betty Ford stays and sailing accidents, forgotten only in the wake of their early, often violent deaths. As pretty as the pictures and the pillbox hats are, being a Kennedy is not something most straight-thinking people would aspire to. I mean, I like summering at the Cape as much as the next yuppie poseur, but I recognize that while I enjoy aspects of that life, I wouldn’t want all of it.
Its sort of like saying I’d love to have a chimpanzee that followed me everywhere just like Ben did with Michael Jackson, but I’d rather not have the whole Demerol-addiction, hapless band of lunatic handlers, and sequin fixation that actually being Michael Jackson would involve.
Plus, I can imagine that the longtime residents of Cape Cod will be uber-pissed when they find that their early bird dinner reservations are all booked by Secret Service agents and West Wing staff.
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Posted by E. M. Zanotti in Katie Couric Is Evil Incarnate, Uncategorized 2 Comments »
June 28, 2009
You can usually count on celebrities to produce a sex tape at the very moment that their career hits the skids. You know, they’ve already made it through the humiliation of a group-based reality television program on which they broke down publicly about emotional abuse suffered at the hands of their childhood gardener, and the subsequent one-on-one reality television program where they, the D-list celebrity loses weight/goes through detox/attempts to do a normal job/confesses to Carrot Top, and they still haven’t managed to move the 10,000 copies of their debut album off the clearance rack at Wal-Mart, so they find another D-list celebrity or, better yet, a nameless, faceless, Ed Hardy-wearing douchebag to have sex with on camera. They then release that tape to TMZ who, prior to becoming a Real News Resource, thrived on those sorts of decisions.
So I suppose this means that John Edwards is officially on the D-List.
Former presidential candidate John Edwards is out of luck if he hoped that the extramarital affairs of Gov. Mark Sanford and Sen. John Ensign would take people’s minds off his own cheating scandal.
Former Edwards aide Andrew Young says the ex-senator and his former mistress, Rielle Hunter, once made a sex tape, according to someone who has seen Young’s book proposal.
St. Martin’s Press just inked a deal with Young, who also says in his proposal that, contrary to his public statement last year, he is not the father of Hunter’s infant daughter — Edwards is. Edwards has denied that.
If there were ever anyone on this planet who would make me violently ill upon seeing them naked, I would say that John Edwards is right up there on my list. I’m not sure he’d be at the top, considering the real lookers there are in politics, homeless people on the bus, etc., but seriously. No. Ew. No. Seriously. I can’t even imagine being remotely attracted to the man, the hair particularly. On the other hand, of course, I’d be curious to see if he ever allows it to be mussed up. Does Princess Silky Pony allow his coif to get messy in the act of love? Better yet, is his hair somehow involved in a kinky foreplay exercise?
Of course, I think, should I ever see that tape, I would immediately either enter a convent, as I could never, in good conscience, engage in any remotely romantic activity ever again, let alone be touched, touch anyone, or hell, think again without screaming in terror, a result of my inevitable post-traumatic stress disorder, or I would go all Thoreau on the world, becoming an outspoken anti-technology, pro-eating-squirrel activist not unlike Mike Huckabee.
Who would, yes, also be at the top of my list.
Eeeesh.
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June 26, 2009
Seriously, as if we haven’t gotten kicked in the crotch enough around here in Detroit, today City Council President Pro Tem Monica Conyers, wife of forever-entrenched U.S. Rep. John Conyers (chairman of the Judiciary Committee), pled guilty to bribery and conspiracy regarding a failed deal to transfer some of the city’s public works to a private corporation, Synagro. The bribery was so small peanuts that between the fact that she killed her political career and her regular outbursts, one wonders whether she is mentally ill.
The U.S. Attorney cleared Rep. Conyers in the case, said that he had no knowledge of his wife’s actions and did not hinder them in any way in their investigation. The statement that John put out seemed almost to hang his wife out to dry (and if I were married to someone who was like her, I might do the same!):
Public officials must expect to be held to the highest ethical and legal standards. With this in mind, Mr. Conyers wants to work towards helping his family and the city recover from this serious matter.
A polite but firm smack there, eh? I’d love to see the kitchen talk between those two right about now.
Anyways, Kwame, several political consultants and Monica have all been convicted, and while the Synagro investigation is over, the U.S. Attorney’s office is still investigating other corruption in the city. What a pleasant thought. The nightmare may not be over yet. Way to further that comeback, city officials.
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Posted by Thad in Uncategorized 6 Comments »
June 25, 2009
Michael Jackson is dead today at 50, the same day as another 80s icon, who honestly didn’t get her fair time in the spotlight, Farrah Fawcett.
Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We’re told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back.
A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived. A cardiologist at UCLA tells TMZ Jackson died of cardiac arrest.
Once at the hospital, the staff tried to resuscitate him but he was completely unresponsive.
Michael was a study in opposites, such a strange person, almost more famous in his later years as a train wreck and as an acquitted accused pedophile than for the rock legend that he was, and like so many legends before him, misunderstood, wracked with pain and memories, living in a world that likely had no human compassion for him, he died tragically in much the same way as Elvis, Marilyn and Anna Nicole: not entirely unexpectedly. He shattered the race barrier in the early days of MTV, being one of the first black artists to reach the level of true superstar. As an artist — a singer, songwriter, dancer and creative force — he is, or was, unparalleled.
I’m no good at writing obituaries. I kind of always wanted to be the person who wrote them for the newspaper, chronicling a life lost that meant so much into print and history. Every death is a tragedy to someone, and I never believed I was capable of doing each life justice. Its different with celebrities. More than a few people I spoke with today were ambivalent about Jackson’s and Fawcett’s death. After all, millions of deaths occur every day. Didn’t more important people, more personal people die without fanfare and celebration? Didn’t others pass on to that great beyond who were “worth more” than a celebrity? Many used the occasion to make great political speeches about the dangers of celebrity worship in our culture, to postulate on the degradation of society as it barely touches political events, yet unites in morning for a pop star.
Honestly, I can’t say they’re right. Besides the obvious — that Michael and Farrah were someone’s children, someone’s parents, someone’s lovers and someone’s friends — when people who are central to our culture die, it evokes a very basic emotional response in each one of us whose lives were, in some small way, shaped by that person. Growing up, I loved the music on MTV. I watched it from a very young age. I liked the singers — their style, their music — but I loved the concepts, the creativity, the choreography. It was my first introduction to art, and probably had a great effect on my future. Michael Jackson stands out because of a video he starred in in the late 1980s called “Smooth Criminal.” I loved the song, I loved the aesthetic, I loved the music. It was a part of my life, and remains burned in my memories of youth. Whatever Jackson became, whatever he did, he remained in my mind the man central to that moment, central to that experience, and central to that formative part of my life. There would be more: I remember staying up in my room for hours learning “Black or White,” singing the theme from “Free Willy” at a grade school concert, the coolest friend at school who had one of those red leather jackets.
In a way, when we mourn a celebrity, its almost self-centered. I feel for him, and his family and most of all his children, and my most fervent prayers go out to them in this time of great sorrow, but I also feel for that part of my own life lost, that part of my own youth that, today, has what I never expected it to have…an end. I can imagine that the same is true for so many people who grew up watching (and perhaps lusting after) Farrah Fawcett. Their contributions to our lives were great. We are who we are because of them, and probably, in modern times, in no small way. And so, we mourn them, for, at the very least, our connection to them.
I can’t stand in judgment of another human being, as I can never truly know another man’s soul, nor can I pretend to be a God who is always surprising in his love and mercy and forgiveness. It is my fondest wish that both of their souls are in a better place, and it is with my deepest gratitude that I say farewell.
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Posted by E. M. Zanotti in Uncategorized 11 Comments »
June 24, 2009
No.
No. No. Nonononono. NO. No. NOT YOURS. Get away from my world, Miley Cyrus-dating, freakishly effeminate, totally evil Jonas brother. GET AWAY. STAY OUT OF MY SAFE LITTLE POLITICAL SPHERE WHERE NONE OF YOUR DESTRUCTIVE CREEPING MADNESS CAN TOUCH ME. Go take your Pied Piper like following of pre-adolecent urchins and form your own colony wherein you can appreciate each other’s total commitment to the gaping black hole that is the soul of the music industry and by extension, America. Spare me from this shuddering hate, this attack of epileptic fury that paralyzes me in my office chair. BE GONE.
Also, NO.
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June 24, 2009
The Republican Party needs more hot chicks.
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June 24, 2009
We seem to have gotten into a rut here at AP — all Iran all the time — which, while good for Google rankings, isn’t so great for material. Suffice it to say the current conflict can be summed up in a single sentence which may or may not have appeared in The Economist this week: the regime can either back down or crack down, and considering what we get if they back down — a dude not terribly unlike Mahmoud, but with possibly more sophisticated style, who is sworn to uphold the totalitarian, authoritarian rule of the Ayatollah, democracy being merely a method of placating an aroused public — it seems like were in a holding period waiting for a crackdown. As our esteemed President said, on one thing we can all agree. “Iran…bad.” Just in general.
Meanwhile on the homefront, the governor of South Carolina has gone missing and been recovered, and then, once recovered, managed to totally make up a story about where he’d been, a story which was quickly disputed by those nasty things: facts.
Joel Sawyer, communications director for the governor’s office, then said the governor had been on the Appalachian Trail. Sawyer said staffers heard from Sanford on Tuesday morning and the governor plans to return Wednesday…
On Tuesday, sources told News 4’s Nigel Robertson that a state vehicle is missing and was tracked down, not to the Appalachian Trail, but to the Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta.
Sources told Robertson that a federal agent spotted Sanford in the airport boarding a plane. Robertson was told that the governor was not accompanied by security detail.
Not that I’m a geography expert, but I remember that Family Channel show, Christie about a young, privileged, New England woman who moved to Cutter Gap to teach the hapless residents of that godforsaken mountain town how to read and how to love, and from my understanding of that fictitious historical account, neither Atlanta Airport nor his apparent destination, Argentina, is really anywhere near the Appalachian trail. But hey, who am I to judge, right?
There are a few people who insist that Mark Sanford is the Future of the Republican Party. These may or may not be the same people who are convinced that we’re plotting secretly to take over Canada. Not that that’s a particularly bad idea, just…in both those cases, I think we’re looking at an outside possibility. The REAL Future of the Republican Party is someone who would probably rather try to eat a live weasel than take the reigns of what amounts to being the last, sputtering death whistle of a sliver of a glimmer of a political party. Perhaps Mark Sanford is not that man, but I have an inkling that this is probably bigger than it seems, thus rendering him less of an attractive option than he was before.
Then again, perhaps he just really wanted to see Buenos Aires, Argentina’s Big Apple!
UPDATE: South Carolina, you have a brand spanking new governor.
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June 23, 2009
that I’m sure we all feel watching what’s going on in Iran.
The British intelligentsia have provided a report that shows that it’s not so much the vote was rigged as it was completely predetermined, that it is impossible to count 40 million votes in 2 hours, that the Interior Ministry did all the “vote counting” instead of the local municipalities (as had been the case in all prior elections), that the percentages never changed, and that there was a real rush to certify Ahmadinejad as the winner.
Further, the horrific violence, demonstrated in the shooting of student Neda Agha Soltan (captured for the world to see on a cell phone camera), is just that (never mind that these animals are charging families $3000 for a “bullet fee” that killed their loved ones). The mindless thuggishness of the Iranian regime is radicalizing their own people. Khameini, in his desperate attempt to hold power in the face of a burgeoning new revolution, is reverting to the very tactics that the Shah used in his waning days of power, where many of the Islamic revolutionaries were arrested, tortured, etc. The government is arresting senior aides to the reformists Afsanjani and Khatami (two former presidents), and Moussavi’s campaign manager.
Adding to this maskirovka (a Russian word for charade), staged confessions were aired on Iranian TV (with the faces of the “confessed” blurred out), saying that Voice of America made them protest, not the sham election. Yeah, well, I’ve got beachfront property in Idaho to sell them if that’s true. Seriously? That’s the best they’ve got? Propaganda tends to fail when the unvarnished truth is available elsewhere (read: Internet). Staged confessions when people are seeing protestors being shot for peacefully, silently, marching in the streets aren’t going to pass muster.
I appreciate the President speaking up today and condemning the violence in far more forceful terms, since it’s become obvious that keeping a low profile isn’t going to stop the Tehran thugs from lying their asses off about our supposed “incitement” of the demonstrators. Obviously, he has to be careful about what he says, but when even the UN Secretary General spoke out in harsh terms about the regime’s election fraud and unprovoked violence, and the response from Tehran was, “These stances are an evident contradiction of the UN secretary general’s duties, international law and are an apparent meddling in Iran’s internal affairs. Ban Ki-moon has damaged his credibility in the eyes of independent countries by ignorantly following some domineering powers which have a long record of uncalled-for interference in other countries’ internal affairs and colonisation.”
“Meddling in [insert nation name here]’s affairs” is code for “Let us beat the living hell out of people, surpress dissent, and steal elections while you shut it.” The world will do those brave souls in Iran a favor and tell the Tehran thugs to “shove it.” We cannot keep quiet, not as Americans, not as a free world, and allow the best chance we’ve had to bring Iran back into the free world slip away. Our leaders must be careful, think through what action they will take, but we must not yield in our support for the end of violence and the simple demand that the will of the people of Iran be heard over that of a regime of tyranny that perverts God’s name as an excuse to oppress their people.
I guess I was able to voice that disgust, wasn’t I?
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June 21, 2009
They don’t get it.
Calling Moussavi a “criminal”, arresting the former president’s daughter, holding Newsweek reporters without charges, and trying to blame the deaths on “terrorists” when the only terrorists are the Basij militia, well, it’s a nice little propaganda move, but I don’t see it carrying any resonance.
The Internet allows people to cut through the “reality” as provided by state-run media, which is the tool of dictatorships. It’s one more way that people can see the truth, and the truth is that Iran’s militias are killing protestors and inciting violence, not Moussavi, and the more they incite, the more that they will create backlash against themselves.
The next few days will say a lot. Either people start hiding out, or there’s going to be an explosion in the streets that nobody is going to be able to control. Khameini and his bunch may think they’re God’s chosen ones, but I don’t think God looks kindly upon repression, false arrests, lies, and violence to protect power. I do believe that was supposedly the point of the 1979 revolution. The revolutionaries have now become like the Shah in their desire to keep power. It is up to the new ones to show them the futility of such a choice, and perhaps Iran will have true democracy very soon.
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June 20, 2009
It’s late Saturday night, and (shockingly!) I’m home for once, and I’ve been itching to say this all day, but it looks like Iran’s government is about to come crashing down.
Yesterday, Ayatollah Khameini decided to outright threaten the protesting Iranians by promising bloodshed in the streets. There was bloodshed in Tehran today, but the protestors aren’t backing down, and good for them. Moussavi himself has said he is ready for martyrdom if it is necessary, and boy, over there, that’s the ultimate sign of commitment. Through Twitter, through word-of-mouth, through silent marching against the Basij, much as Reverend King led African-Americans through Birmingham against the violent police led by Bull Connor, they are winning over the nation and the world.
I don’t think the Supreme Leader gets it. Skippy gets it insofar as he’s backed down on the rhetoric, because he participated in the revolution of 1979 at street level, but too many of these clerics at the top are so far removed from reality and are so used to getting their way that they just don’t realize what’s going on. A groundswell of support this large, that refuses to back down in the face of guns, batons, beatings, arrests, that will march in silence with fists clenched, claiming God as their right to do so, it’s incredibly powerful in the Muslim world and especially so in Iran.
This has morphed from just being about the stolen election into the idea that the very system of government in Iran has lost its way and needs to go. Khamenei is shooting a gun loaded with blanks and the protestors know it. When there is no fear, dictatorship crumbles. It is only when fear is in place that dictators can maintain their power, but if there are enough people who don’t listen, who don’t fear repercussions, and are willing to die for their beliefs, then the whole thing starts crumbling down.
I must say, I’m excited. I was born in the year in which Iran released our hostages, and almost 30 years later, we’re on the verge of a new, freer, Iran, thanks to a brave group of people led by our generation. Forgive me for taking this liberty, but to use two terms from two different languages, “Insh’Allah, vive la revolucion en Iran!” As long as brave people are willing to fight, then there is hope for the future.
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June 18, 2009
…shall be upon your house.
The White House is bugged!
No, not like that. But actual flies are swarming the place, confounding housekeepers, irritating aides, even trying to feast on the president. During an East Room interview with John Harwood for CNBC and The New York Times on Tuesday, a giant fly orbited Mr. Obama’s head.
That’s what you get for getting a dog, dude. Cats? They are like Daniel-san when it comes to grabbing those suckers and they won’t let up until they are good and done. Your dog, meanwhile, is so busy eating your mutant organic garden plants he hasn’t even noticed you’re under attack. And its not like you didn’t know ahead of time. Apparently, the flies have been a fixture in the West Wing since Clinton moved out. Take from that what you will.
The best part of this whole story is the sudden relevance of PETA, whose laundry list of gripes against every major corporation in existence prevents its members from purchasing anything but Yes to Carrots!, to the degree that the NYT is sniffing them out for third paragraph quotes. And not just that, but apparently, any kind of chemical solution is out of the question for White House staffers. Its almost like their ideological stubbornness is a barrier to creative solutions not involving government.
Way to bring that full circle, right?
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June 17, 2009
Disney World was next. Don’t act like you’re not surprised. I know my dystopic corporate-run-future scenarios.
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June 17, 2009
Let’s get ready to…oh, it’s already started.
I think it is abundantly clear that Iran just had themselves a little show election last weekend, and the president of the Members Only fan club gets to stay president of Iran too. Clearly, the idea of even a little reform scared the mullahs over there into rigging this thing. I guess I can’t blame them, I mean, you let that whole reform thing build a little, and soon enough there’d be another revolution. In the linked video, it’s clear that Iran is starting to boil over, that thirty years of inequality, injustice, beatings, maltreatment of women, religious police, et al., has built up and the people are saying, “Enough!” Further proof of that is in today’s Times article, which shows that Twitter may actually be fighting for democracy. Who knew?
This may be good for us and for the world. First of all, there is a chance that they will force real change in Iran. News reports have constantly pointed out that these are the largest demonstrations in Iran since the 1979 revolution, and the demonstrators out for Moussavi have been ten times larger than those for Ahmadinejad. Despite the shutdown of text messaging, the banning of foreign reporters from the streets, the shootings and arrests of protestors and moderate politicians, the people have not backed down. That takes real courage, and we should be proud of them. Furthermore, unlike President Bush in 1989, who kept his reaction to the crushing of Tianamen Square protests muted, we should, carefully of course, support these people in any way we can.
Obviously, there is a careful balance we have to strike here. Sadly, the demonstrators may lose in the end. Ahmadinejad controls the Revolutionary Guards a lot more than the clerics like to admit, not to mention the intelligence services and the militias. As a former Guards officer, they are far more loyal to one of their own than they are the clerics. Furthermore, Ayatollah Khameini is rather weak, by and large, as he’s always had to make alliances to keep his position, because he was promoted after Ayatollah Khomeini’s (one letter makes ALL the difference) death in 1989 from well down the list of senior clerics. In fact, an op-ed in today’s Times claims Iran is more military dicatorship these days than clerical state.
Despite this, however, if arrests and shootings and Internet shutdowns do not stop this tide of protest, then Iran has a problem. Once the myth of the all-powerful state is shattered, it can’t be regained. China teetered on that edge in 1989, and were lucky that other world events kept their repressive actions from being a bigger matter. Iran does not have that luxury, and furthermore does not have the military might of China, to use the same repressive measures to the same effect. Ask the shah how well HIS repression worked in 1979 in similar circumstances.
Secondly, regardless of how it turns out, Iran may feel compelled to reach an agreement on the nuclear weapons issue. If matters drag out, we would do well to turn up the heat on Iran with sanctions. Their economy is already a mess, and that was one of Ahmadinejad’s promises in 2005, fixing the economy. Under his rule, it has become worse, and if we hit that pressure point right as an international community, that might be the final straw for the Iranian people to toss out this clerical/militaristic dictatorship and establish a more democratic government.
In short, we don’t need to attack Iran and neither does Israel. Their people, with a little proper support aimed properly, could acheive what we want them to.
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June 16, 2009
According to Matt Yglesias, Mahmoud Ahmadenijad has it.
I keep talking about this with people in real life, but it deserves a blog mention as well — Mahmoun [sic] Ahmadinejad has a pretty sweet hipster style. It all starts with a beard not unlike the one I and many of my twentysomething male friends sport. But it goes deeper. The man went without a tie to address the UN General Assembly. And I was in a bar where the TV was showing his interview with Anderson Cooper (it’s DC, these things happen) and while there was no sound, he certainly looked witty and charming. There was also this clip of him walking down some hallway shooting the sh** with Kofi Annan. It’s like diplomacy! Bush should try it. One gets the sense that he’s getting his stody red tie-wearing ass kicked this session by sundry third world goons and it’s really not a proud moment for the United States
Part of me is like, WTF? Hipster? Sure, he’s got the stupidly “ironic” Members Only jacket and the annoyingly close-clipped facial hair and is a total douchebag to the point if he went into an American Apparel the universe might collapse in on itself, and sure he dresses inappropriately for any occasion, and of course he gives off that sort-of “hey, I’m a pedophile who lives in a van” kind of vibe, he’s a total disgrace to humanity, he’s anti-corporate and anti-capitalist, there’s no one outside of his paid-off friends and idiot progressive pseudo-intellectuals who doesn’t automatically hate him so much their skin crawls, his real job involves making sh*t up like he was a philosophy major and pointlessly looking down on other people as though he believes himself to be smarter than they are and HOLY F**K. He actually MAY BE A HIPSTER. All he needs are some side-swept bangs and a pair of skintight black jeans. And maybe some plastic sunglasses.
I bet he even likes Kanye.
UPDATE: For those of you who get the reference, look at this f**king love connection.
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